giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
