you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My ATM looks so different sober.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
