i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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