Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
