Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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