Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
