I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
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the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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