but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
