you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
