if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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