she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize