I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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