its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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