I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
