bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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