it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
