I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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