I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i out mim tonsoeep
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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