we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
