Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
my liver is dry heaving
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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