I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
