Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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