i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
