Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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