Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
