Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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