i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
