I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Life is so much better after having sex.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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