Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
