it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
