the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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