I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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