Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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