My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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