I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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