she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
