Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
