dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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