you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
