i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
