We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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