sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You made out with two different species that night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
