My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize