ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
