Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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