You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
