yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
