No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
