Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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