FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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