if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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