This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm like, not good at living.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
