Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
