Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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