last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
