I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
