And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are two peas in an std pod
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
