From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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