If i come over, it means nothing
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
