I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
farters have to be the big spoon...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dick very happy bro
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
