Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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