he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
