Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
