No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
