Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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