Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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